live in the moment...right.

I am sure you have all heard the words, live in the moment. 

Yeah, me too. 

Not so easy though when you are stressed about what is to come and no plan laid out for your future. I am a planner, I like to have a plan and follow thru on that plan, as you all know from my previous post (if you missed that little gem, click here ). For awhile it seemed like life just got harder and harder to decide and things only seemed to be getting worse.

Then today it dawned on me, I think I have finally done it, I think I am living in the moment. A few weeks ago I was able to go on a road trip to the beautiful California beach (special thanks to my roommate) and just relax and unwind from everything; work, graduation, any and all major adult decisions. It was perfect. Until I got home of course and life was still waiting for me. It's like a pet dog that just sits and taunts you till you play with him. Not cool.  So I decided, after one to many panic attacks, a few stressed phone calls, and lots of pro/con lists and prayers, to just make a decision and roll with it (more another time on how that finally came about. promise. I know you are all waiting in suspense about what my future holds. haha). Then I just let go. I released my stress and said, "Hey Toni, it's summer time, your favorite time of year. Yes, you don't get enough hours at work, yes, your bank account is looking pretty slim, yes, you need to still follow through with your decision, yes, life is still waiting around the corner. Guess what though? Just relax and live in the moment". So that is what I am doing and it has been beautiful.

I have hung out at the pool, gone to the batting cages, read a few good books, eaten my fair share of snow cones, played some intense late night rounds of Monopoly and Ticket to Ride, and enjoyed the company of my close friends. I have also put into perspective that while life is tough for me right now, others are going through far more and I am grateful for all that I do have and am blessed with. While I know what is to come is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, I will grow and learn far more than I ever thought imaginable.

 Funny isn't it? Right when you think you have learned as much as you can and accomplished all that you can, the Lord smiles, and with a chuckle says, "my daughter, you couldn't be more wrong". I am a firm believer the Lord has a very witty sense of humor. In a loving way of course.

Elder Holland puts it best I think:

"One of the greatest temptations of life is to spend so much time looking back or so much time looking ahead that we fail to see the opportunity right in front of us. Certainly we should study the past. We all ought to learn the lessons of history....we all ought to plan for the future. We all ought to look ahead. None of us should be surprised when tomorrow comes and new circumstance present themselves. But having learned from the past and while preparing for the future, we can in reality only deal with the present day. Life has to be lived in the present tense. The current hour is the only one we have."

Elder Holland continues by discussing when Moses was to rescue the Israelites and asking what he should say is God's name when the Israelites ask, God responded by saying, "I AM THAT I AM".

"Grammatically speaking, that is a divine declaration of God in the present tense. Yes, He has been with us in the past and yes, He will be with us in the future....But when challenges are immediate and overwhelming, He is with us in the present tense. I AM, I AM, I AM. Surely God is trying to teach us a great truth here. He is. He does live. He does act in our lives. He is engaged with us in the first-person, present-tense, active voice. Nothing could be more comforting."

Live in the moment. Enjoy life. Know that everything WILL WORK OUT.