golden birthday.

Turned 26 years old.

My birthday is the 26th of August.

That makes it my golden birthday.

Apparently that is a big deal. 

If that means being at a point in my life I never thought I would be, than I guess it's true...It's a big deal.

I guess this "golden birthday" comes on the day most of my friends return to classes at USU, reminders that my parents were already married and just about to have their first child at my age, a day off work because I am currently unemployed, and the realization that I have no idea what is to come.

I have officially moved back to Ohio. The one state I vowed to never live in again. I didn't know saying good-bye could be so hard. I have done it before but this time was different. This time it came with a deep pain and feeling like I was suffocating and had no one to blame but myself. When I moved at 8, it was a fun adventure to be going where all my extended family and Mormons lived. When I moved at 16, I had my parents to push all the blame on to for "destroying" my teenage years. When I moved at 20, I had my unhealthy addictions and disloyal friends to take the fall for "forcing" me to leave. 

This time is different. This time it is all me. It is my decision. It is my choosing to leave behind all that I know to be good and comfortable to follow a prompting. I guess the big fear lies in the unknown. I don't know what Ohio has in store for me or why I need to be here. I am trying my best to not live in the past, to embrace the present, and to look forward to the future with faith. 

I have said it before and I will say it again, I have a stud of a family who has supported me 100% of the time and helped every step of the way. I have an amazing group of friends that did not make it easy to leave, but let me know they will be there for me still. I was constantly in awe the last few weeks in Logan, every time a friend heard I was moving, they greeted the news with surprise and sorrow. I knew my friends cared about me but the amount of encouraging letters, gifts, pictures, and kind words said to me always left me speechless. I never knew I had such an impact on others and was such an example. I was stunned to see I did have a positive impact on so many people and hope it was like that for anyone that has ever crossed my path. They all definitely left a huge imprint on my life and I am so humbled that they were willing to share their friendship with me.

Above all, I have a Heavenly Father who has not left me comfortless during this time. He has shown me time and time again how blessed I truly am and offered me support and love through the people I am surrounded by, the words of prophets facing similar trials of faith in the scriptures, priesthood blessings, personal prayer, and the solace and peace of the temple. 

Maybe this really is a "golden birthday". Not in the sense of being the funnest or best (let's face it. It is not.), but the start of something exciting and new. It is not going to be easy. I know there are more trials to come, but I can't wait to see what is in store.  To feel the pleasure and joy one day at knowing I did everything my Heavenly Father asked of me and he is pleased with my effort.

Thank you to all my amazing friends and family for your support and belief in me. I hope I can live up to your standards and continue to be an amazing example, like you all are to me.

**Warning: Picture overload! There are a lot of people I wanted to recognize and love!**

My amazing parents! Love you!

My lovely little sister Jessica Sizemore

My beautiful best friend and cherished roommate Brittani Doney

My gorgeous best friend and fellow Ohioan Kylie Smith

My rock and good friend Blake Bowen

My partner in crime and best friend Kristen Hellwig

My sweetest best friend Aly Moffett and the most patient stud Bryan Groll

My adorable best friend Camille Ostler

My fun loving studs Ryan McLeod and Oisin Tong

My best friend and only trusted fellow decorator Deanna Lamont

My always cute and fun loving friend Kim Inkley

My 'lil brother' Kyler McPherson

My tender spirited best friend Megan Sheldon

My New York sister from another mister A-Will! (Alyssa Williams)

My Idaho crazy BFABB friend Jamie Clarke

My long lost and stunning best friend of USU Kristina Sanders

My friend who opened up her home to me for the summer and has one of the most contagious laughs Cara Spendlove

My Old Farm roommates turned best friends Kelsey, Shirelle, Crystal, and Amanda

My first college roommate and crazy best friend Jordan Haynes Clark

My freshman fabulous Liz, Kelsey, and Laura

My uncle Noal and Aunt Leslie. I would not have been able to experience my Utah journey without their tremendous help my first year. Some of the best people you will ever meet!

My cousin Clarissa Law. So so so many great memories because of her crazy photo shoots! She always had a listening ear and helped guide me through the ins and outs of USU.

and to ALL the other amazing friends and family who impacted my life in the most remarkable way!